of the importance of sometimes, meandering within the aisles of a public library. my visit this afternoon to Castlemaine’s yielded this book. the quotes down there were taken from the five pages introduction. buckle on, and get some tea.
“Love is experienced differently by each of us, but for most of us, five aspects of love stand out. We feel loved when we receive attention, acceptance, appreciation, and affection, and when we are allowed the freedom to live in accord with our own deepest needs and wishes. We show love in the five same ways. […]
Intimacy at its best means giving and receiving the five A’s which are the joys and wealth of a relationship. These five elements or aspects of love also describe our destiny of service to the world as mature spiritual beings. […] Through our spiritual practice we come to know a power greater than our ego and that power nourishes us by granting us the graces of attention, acceptance, appreciation, affection and allowing.
There is a touching and encouraging synchronicity – meaningful coincidence – built into our very being: the five A’s are simultaneously the fulfillment of our earliest needs, the requirements of adult intimacy and of universal compassion, and the essential qualities of mindfulness practice. In the splendid economy of human and spiritual development, the same keys open all our evolutionary doors.
Thus the five A’s come to us as gifts in childhood. They are then bestowed to us as gifts to ourselves and to others. They are not the result of efforts but are the automatic overflow of love we receive. We do not have to try; we simply notice that we are attentive, appreciative, affectionate, acceptant, and allowing towards those we love. Showing the five A’s is “heartfulness’, a spiritual practice.
Is there a way to increase our capacity to give and receive these essential elements of love? Yes. […] The work and practice I recommend here are not aimed at making your life together smoother but at helping you relate to its inevitable roughness with humor, ease and generosity. An untamed ego cannot pull that off. Only an awakened heart can do it. Then intimacy is best approached on a spiritual path. As a bonus, our limited personal work can heal the wider world.”
David Richo, How to be an adult in relationships